Fallen
by Lamda9
Summary: "I can help you," Asriel whispered, voice cracking between his stammers and gasps for air. "I can…I can…I-" But he had said that before. Two letdowns were an unacceptable prospect to you and your partner, and monsters like Asriel did much better as EXP. A retelling of Chara's death, and subsequently, rebirth, from their perspective.


_I'm so sorry, Chara._

You were not talking to him. You would never speak to him again.

 _You were right. They attacked us, before we even said anything to them._

With what little time you even had left, that was. You felt it coming, the encroaching call of death. Even human Determination inside the shell of a monster's might would not save you from how badly they had beaten and broken you.

 _Before we did anything to them._

You were doing most of the lifting by that point. Asriel's will had grown weak, much unlike it had been before. The sheer alarm going through his mind as he had protested, cried and begged and clung in a desperate bid to keep their body from fighting back, had taken you aback. You had shown him exactly what these despicable beings were, and what they did to any who were different. Even this long after seeing no monsters above ground, they had lunged, answering the call for a hero that no one had made, for no reason other than the dutiful tribalism they wore on their sleeves. They would have been perfect to use, and the opportunity had slipped from between their fingers.

And seeing all this, Asriel still chose to _care_ , to hold regard for the apparent sacredness of their existence alone that you just could not bring yourself to see.

 _…I still don't hate them, Chara._

It infuriated you. It made every ounce of your ribbon-torn existence spike with tension, a tension you knew he could feel. He still did not hate them.

He still did not hate them, after meeting you, and seeing the condition you were in. He still did not hate them, after the stories you had told him, after the bitter emotional vents you had deposited onto him in the dead of night, when no one was around to keep your plastic smile on for. He still did not hate them, because he did not hate anyone, and that softness would have made your teeth gnash were you in a body of your own to control.

The flower-laden path you walked was a quiet one, save for the drops of dusty blood you spilt along the way. Any of the power you had been overwhelmed by when you first came together had left you, depleted by the clash of your egos, and the attacks of the human soldiers that had seen you. Even floating had become impossible, leaving your will to control the rapidly failing body by yourself. Asriel could barely find the strength to assist, SOUL limp beside yours, on whatever mental plane you both existed on. Like so many times before, when his tears had fallen in the face of laughing bullies or scrapes on his knee, you let him lean on you.

Once again, it fell upon you to carry Asriel's **dead weight**.

But, as always, your rising anger fell to pieces when you heard his ethereal self sniffle. Asriel, your brother, your best friend. Even after all the suffering that everyone you both knew had taken at the hands of humans, he was driven to care. It was instinctual, and unconditional. Frail, as all monsters were, but also unwavering, even into death. Monsters really were better than this blight of a world deserved.

 _Why can't I hate them, like you do?_

Was strength, you wondered, succeeding at all cost, no matter what parts of yourself you lose to get there? Or was it the ability to die unchanged, not burdened by a conscience whispering of all you'd gone back on as the world went black? Your decision came slowly, and begrudgingly despite yourself.

 ** _Because you are strong, and I am weak._**

His confusion was warming, in the cold state you were in. It all came so honestly to him, and you envied that, painfully.

The barrier to the mountain's entrance loomed ahead, bringing a spot of relief to you, if only because you would not die pathetically at the knees of the humans who had attacked you. The matted fur of your new arms looked much redder than they had before, something that made Asriel's will crumple on sight.

 _I'm not strong. This is my fault, I couldn't follow through on the plan._

 ** _The plan was my idea. I should not have pushed you-_**

 _No! I agreed!_

Asriel's protest surprised you, and you were silent.

 _I agreed. I chose to do this with, because I knew we could save everyone. And we could have. Only I made myself act, and only I chose to wimp out. The responsibility is mine, don't…b-baby me, Chara…_

The surprisingly mature outburst was one you had no kind rebuttal for. But, you supposed that he was right. Asriel had his own agency. The proposal was one you bore the guilt for, but he had agreed (and faltered) on his own.

Through the flashing span of the barrier, you staggered, breaths becoming sparser and sparser as your lungs began to fill with blood. You fell suddenly, and the agony that the both of you felt in pushing yourself to stand again would scar your spirits forever. Asriel screamed, inside, and you hissed, an intimate exchange of pain between you in these final minutes of yours.

 ** _I was selfish._**

Your admission was not only to him, but to yourself.

 ** _I wanted to help you all, and give back the charity you gave to me. You treated me like one of your own, for little reason other than being able to, and I wanted to repay you. But I also wanted humans to pay. For what they did to you, and more, for what they did to me._**

And hell, did you hate humans. At least half of the fuel keeping you stumbling at that moment was rage, which you would take to the grave. But it was selfish to try and make him understand. It was selfish to use their pain (a pain you had truly and wholly wanted to alieve) as a vehicle to get what you wanted. And if Asriel would not spare himself the responsibility of his choices, you would not, either.

 _Looks like we've both been a couple of dummies, huh?_

Silence. And then, he chuckled. It was pained, and weak, but so infectious all the same, and you soon felt yourself chuckling along. Tears spilt from both of your cheeks, and the cheeks of your vessel, as you shook in the shared sensation of your broken ribs being shaken.

 ** _I-I guess we have…!_**

Chuckles turned to laughs.

 _We…we got in way over our heads._

 ** _We really did. A couple of kids…_**

 _We thought we could save the world!_

You laughed. Laughed, and laughed, and laughed, until you had no more tears to cry.

By the time your lungs gave out, you realized that you had fallen again, this time onto the golden flowers that you knew were in the garden of New Home. You could not see straight, outside of the few flowers straight in eyeshot, and the blurry outline your own poisoned body laying just nearby. Slowly, your sensory awareness shrunk, to nothing but the little circle of space around you and Asriel.

You were still angry. So, so very angry. But you were also sad, and guilty, and happy, all at the same time. Asriel was plenty conflicted in his own right, his heart warmed but wracked with fear lying beneath.

 ** _Asriel._**

It took him a moment to register you calling his name. Rousing him from the slumber that you could feel his SOUL falling into, he whispered into the growing darkness, _Chara?_

You could distantly make out Asgore and Toriel being alerted by the guards posted outside of their home. You also knew they would not make it before you both expired. You and Asriel shared a moment of woe, at the thought of leaving your mother and father behind, after which you spoke as clearly as you could make yourself speak.

 ** _We'll…always be best friends, right?_**

The last speckle of light between them gleamed at that, perhaps a dying gasp on Asriel's part. You could not 'see' Asriel, so to speak, but you certainly could feel his smile, wide and gleaming even in so much black.

 _Forever and ever._

Hearing that, in a rather macabre way, brought you contentment for the first time in your life. The last strands of Determination holding your very beings together snapped suddenly, and you then felt your SOUL snap back to your corpse, plunging you into the microscopically conscious state of being in which you would remain. You were accepting of the consequences of your actions, which you would bear forevermore.

But, forevermore did not last as long as it should have.

* * *

"See?! I never betrayed you!"

The wide, panicked smile printed across the flower's face did not move you, nor the vessel behind which you followed. The LOVE they had funneled into you, and themselves, had pushed you both far beyond that brink many levels ago. And just as you had watched the gentle man you once called 'father' being killed without so much as a twinge of sadness, you would watch this as emptily as could be, too.

"It was all a trick, see? I was waiting to kill him for you!"

Flowey, it called itself. It was so ironic, watching it call this other human by your name. As if it thought you were wearing a disguise, just as it was.

He. You forced yourself to acknowledge what he was. This was Asriel, made a flower. Somehow.

So much had happened in your absence, your death. You had been given no time to ask questions (and no ears to hear you, besides this human's) before the rampage had begun, and now, it was far beyond your body of concern. Your quest was nearly at its end, and only one more monster to be struck down remained.

Well…there were really two. But that was a surprise for your 'partner', one that could not be spoiled yet.

Asriel trembled before you, covered in the king's ashes, unaware of the shamelessness in his begging. "After all, it's me, your best friend!" The face of his flower distorted suddenly, morphing in a grotesque manner to resemble what it once was only in name. Asriel, your brother, your best friend...labels you could not for the life of you remember the significance of. "I'm…I'm helpful." His stalk shivered uncontrollably, as the human began to advance.

For as much as you despised this roach, you had to admit, the mechanical nature of their bloodlust fascinated you. It was almost as if it was something innate to them, hardwired to push them until whatever obstacle in front of them yielded. There was nothing else to spend their time or efforts on, no one worth more time than the EXP they were worth.

They had taught you much, in their genocidal campaign across your old home. It had been agonizing, and traumatizing, and infuriating. But, all of that had left you, when enough LOVE had worked its way into you. It was numbing, a release that carried you high above the worldly concerns that you had internally sobbed about early on. Before you had died, your loathing of humans had been one of anger, fueled by a need for justice, and catharsis at the sight of skulls smashed across the pavement. Now, though, you could see the folly of your old ways. Even anger was pointless, an emotional distraction at best and a hindrance at worst. All that mattered in this world was Determination, and overcoming the next enemy ahead of you.

You were flawed, in that regard, unlike this person. For all the numbness you had attained, all the LOVE you had been forcefed in your involuntary position as accessory, you still hated the human. All humans, but especially this one, for what they'd put you through. They had reminded you of everything about mankind that had haunted you in your nightmares before perishing, in their empty drive to move forward.

That would not be a problem for long, though. You had felt your first taste of freedom in killing the skeleton, something that had surprised you both at the time. And with this final push, you could somehow feel through the specter of your existence, that you would finally be autonomous once again.

"I can be useful. I promise I won't get in your way!"

If Asriel had possessed blood, it would have frozen him solid by then. Stopping right in front of the flower, the human craned down, and you felt another dizzying spike of horror shoot through Asriel. Monsters had always been good at that, broadcasting their emotions. There was just…this wavelength that was so easily understandable. Humans lacked that capacity, and to you, that made more sense than it should have.

"I can help you," Asriel whispered, voice cracking between his stammers and gasps for air. "I can…I can…I-"

But he had said that before. Two letdowns were an unacceptable prospect to you and your partner, and monsters like Asriel did much better as EXP.

You had once cared about Asriel's embarrassing softness. It had endeared you to him, it had invested you in him. As if he had been the first truly kind person in the world that you had ever met, showing you that they did really exist. But with your compassion, your willingness to make excuses, to use one's moral character as justification for their faults, had left you. And now, you saw him for what he was: weak.

Asriel was weak. He had always been weak, and with the human's teachings instilled in you, it was obvious that this had been the difference between you and he all along. The distant echoes inside yourself screaming to come to your senses, rationalizing that what was being done to you was wrong, it was all an afterthought. In having fallen so far, you could see more clearly than you ever had before, and with that clarity came an apathy for those without use.

The flower's face, now fully in the image of the goat-like child you had grown up with, began to sob. Voice tiny, and pathetic (a reflection of what he had always been, and to that day, was), he choked out, "Pl-pl-please…don't kill me."

You nudged the human's knife-wielding hand up, and that little nudge was enough.

Slice.

"Cha-"

 _Slice._

"Stop-"

 _Slice._

"Help-"

 _Slice._

"S-some-"

 **Slice.**

You did not revel in his agony.

 **Slice.**

Nor did you derive any pity or sadness from it.

 **Slice.**

It was just the next logical progression from here. He had served his purpose. And now-

 ** _Slice._**

Now, you were whole once more. A demon had formed, one that came at the call of its name. And with the power you had amassed, the Determination exuding from you, it was time to fulfill the task that you had been awakened by this human to undertake.

Their face twisted in confusion at the sound of your familiar voice, and they turned to see your corporeal form. For the first time, you saw alarm in their features, unsure of what was happening as the throne room went dark around you. Your cheeks lifted up, slowly, in faint delight at their discomfort.

"Greetings."

Once again, you had someone to put on your plastic smile for.

"I am Chara."


End file.
